Francis Muguro: Of all cases of abuse, none is more saddening than child abuse. With all tender feelings people have towards children, one wonders why an adult would succumb to such beastly act as molesting a child.
The world is racing fast towards civilization yet with all this advancement, we daily hear horrifying incidents of child maltreatment. Every day we continue to read and watch in horror the pain and trauma the victims and their parents go through after heinous crimes such as sexual abuse against innocent children.
As parents we become angry and yet within us there is such a sense of helplessness because we know it’s hard to guarantee total security for our little ones.
Parents have a responsibility of protecting their children. It is every child’s right to be protected, nurtured and educated. The law stipulates the rights of children and expects people to adhere to them.
But this is not the case. Instead of becoming more sensitive to the needs of children, the society has degenerated to an insensitive cruel lot that endangers its own posterity. The changing trends in style of living have created an imbalance in the social set up especially in the family.
Before the coming of colonialists, the only danger children faced was to be attacked by animals or diseases. But they were perfectly secure with adults, whether parents, relatives or even strangers.
Children enjoyed ultimate care, protection nurturing, acceptance and protection. Thirty years ago, children could roam about in the valleys and streets in their childhood adventures without any worry.
Everybody clearly understood that a child was a symbol of future posterity. Traditions demanded protection of children even in times of war. They were a responsibility of one and all.
The communities took a lot of time to prepare growing children and adolescents for future roles. This preparation culminated in to a grand graduation in to adulthood, mostly marked by circumcision especially of boys.
By then they would have been taught what will be expected of them as adults and future parents. It is at this period that the youth were also taught sex education in a free and relaxed atmosphere.
By the time they graduated, they would have been thoroughly prepared to take on responsible adulthood. There were also many role models they could learn from on how to conduct their social lives.
Even in the event of death of one or both parents, the community knew it was its responsibility to take care of those children. The children too understood that every adult was a parent and accorded them due respect.
The modern society has little time for those communal responsibilities. We have relegated the responsibility of preparing the youth for adulthood to teachers, media and peers.
Parents no longer find time to talk about sex with their children, or other difficulties they face. Challenges of modern life are many and parents need to work to meet their needs.
Husbands alone cannot be expected to raise enough funds to meet all the family needs. Women have acquired necessary education and skills and cannot be expected to remain at home tending to kids all through.
In actual sense, with all the emphasis that has been put on girl child education, more and more ladies are going to be career women thus unavailable to children as the traditional woman would.
So who takes care of our children? The house girls have come in very handy doing most of the parenting over the children. Most of them, however, are young adolescents equally disillusioned by the changing trends. They are entrusted with the heavy duty of tending to kids when they themselves ought to be nurtured and guided by their own parents. Many other children are in some employment of some sort, denying them the precious time to be with their parents.
This is the society that we hope will become responsible in future while we do so little to ready it for the same. Worse still, we see parents abuse their own sons and daughters. Many cases of rape and incest go unreported everyday.
Countless kids are daily traumatized, not knowing who else to trust since their own parents have abused the sacred duty of taking care of them. More annoying also is the fact that adults often prevent child molesters from being punished.
Many cases of sexual abuse are not reported to police because the parents settle the issue out of court. Although the few reported cases make us angry, we still move on as if nothing happened hoping that it will not happen to any of our own children.
Doing nothing to protect our children from these beastly acts make us not different from the culprits themselves.
It’s only a pathetically sick society that can continue to sit unperturbed while its future is being destroyed. Adults must steer the process of healing the society by understanding that it is our responsibility to protect children, not just our own.
We need to report all culprits who manhandle children regardless of whether they are our spouses, relatives or neighbours.
If we have any vision for tomorrow, we must act decisively on behalf of our children.
Africa Matters
